The Viewpoint Blog's Ranking of the James Bond films. 21: Never Say Never Again.

So we're just outside the top 20, and we've just hot the second and final entry from the unofficial films, the 1983 Thunderball remake starring Sean Connery, Never Say Never Again.  The title is a reference to the fact that Connery said he'd never again play Bond, nor even talk about him in interviews.



The first thing to note here is that the screenplay is written by Lorenzo Semple Jr.  That name will be very familiar to fans of the Batman TV series from the 1960s, where he was the script editor, and also wrote the pilot storyline, Hey Diddle Riddle/Smack In The Middle, and the 1966 Batman movie.  He also did the screenplay for the 1980 Flash Gordon movie.  With pedigree like that, you know what is coming, it's going to be high camp, and probably part parody too.

The second notable thing is that the film is directed by Irvin Kirshner, who directed The Empire Strikes Back in the Star Wars saga.  He also directed The Eyes Of Laura Mars and Robocop 2.  So, we have some really talented people in the creative angle here, who could turn this into a really good film.  So, why is it at number 21 in my list?  Time to find out.

THE TITLES/OPENING SEQUENCE.

There's no pre-title sequence, as the titles are done over the first sequence of the movie.  A mission that seems to have absolutely nothing to do with the main plot of the film, but hey, a lot of Bond pre-title sequences had nothing to do with the rest of the film either, so that doesn't exactly mean anything.  However, I do think this mini-mission would have worked better as a pre-title sequence.  But it does do the job, it pulls you into the movie pretty quickly, and not have you thrown right out.  The title music, is okay, but it's just not that special.  It's also very much at odds with the action in the sequence.

One thing to note here is that the singer of that song, Lani Hall, is the wife of the man who did the theme to the other unofficial Bond theme, Herb Alpert.



Anyway, onto the plot proper...

THE PLOT.

That mission was actually a training exercise, and M, played here by Edward Fox, who references the fact he is new as M, chastises Bond for his diet and orders him to detox at a health spa.  Kinda interesting to hear the "too much red meat" line considering that nowadays, the idea that cutting on red meat was a good thing has been long since disproved, but that was the scientific thinking of the time.

There's a quick moment here with Bond and Moneypenny, played here by Pamela Salem, which is really out of character.  Moneypenny should never be like this.  Lorenzo goofed that one.

Bond is sent to Shrublands, a health spa, and we see him roll up in what I think is an old Bentley.  It's a nice car, but really?  Why is it here?  This is 1983, you could give him something else.

Anyway, Bond is checked out by a doctor, and the nurse asks him for a urine sample.  This will play in later, but it could have been done a lot better.  I'm not really sure this scene needs to be here.

We cut to a pair of legs in high heels, walking with purpose, and the owner of those legs tells someone at a desk to open Box 274.  As the two people arrive in an area of safety deposit boxes, we get our first shot of the owner of those legs, Fatima Blush, aka Number 12, played here by Barbara Carrera.  She is the Fiona Volpe of this movie, and surprisingly, is not a creation of Lorenzo Semple Jr's but is actually original from the book, Thunderball.  I always wondered why Saltzman and Broccoli changed Fatima Blush to Fiona Volpe.  Were they a bit sensitive after Pussy Galore in Goldfinger?

It turns out that this is a secret entrance to SPECTRE Headquarters, and we are introduced to SPECTRE's leader, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, played here by Max von Sydow.  He is leading a SPECTRE  meeting, in a room that looks nothing like the room from Thunderball, and in fact just looks like they shot this is in a conference room in some fancy hotel.

Anyway, we are told the basics of the plot here, called for this film "The Tears Of Allah", the same basic plot from Thunderball, mostly done by Maximillian Largo on a video link, played here by Klaus Maria Brandauer.  Hmm, the casting here is a little suspect.  I'm okay with Max von Sydow as Blofeld, because he has form as evil leader, having played Ming The Merciless in Flash Gordon, but here, he looks more like a kindly grandfather, I almost wish we didn't see his face, it would work much better here.  But Largo is a very poor piece of casting.  I know that some people have a problem with Thunderball, having Domino actually be in love with Largo, considering Largo there looks almost old enough to be her father, but that never bothered me.  So I guess the producers here wanted to cast someone a bit younger, to make that angle a little more believable and it does that, but at too high a cost on other angles.

The next shot is Fatima Blush wheeling Captain Jack Petachi through Shrublands.  Captain Jack Petachi is the equivalent of Commandant Major Francois Derval in Thunderball, but instead of being a pilot, he's part of the operations ground crew.  He's played here by Gavan O'Herlihy, who was known at the time for playing bullies, small time bad guys, side characters who had questionable ethics.  This is the same kind of role, but not as good.

We get introduced here to Patricia Fearing, played here by Prunella Gee, the same role as the Molly Peters one in Thunderball.  But again, not as good.

Is it just me or does Fatima Blush come off in these Shrublands scenes as somewhat of a dominatrix?

Bond spots the fight going on in an opposing window.  How convenient.  So he goes across to check it out, but gives himself away, and has to hide.  Fatima uses a light intensifying pair of binoculars to spot him.

Later, Bond is doing some weight training, and we get a fight sequence between Bond and Lippe, played here by "Bomber" Pat Roach.  This is not Count Lippe from Thunderball, this is just a standard SPECTRE heavy, but Pat was always good at this kind of thing.  The fight sequence is beautifully choreographed and is definitely a highlight of the film.  My one complaint is maybe it is about 30 seconds too long, but it's a good sequence, and Bond eventually defeats Lippe by... throwing a beaker of liquid in his face, which turns out to be the urine sample from earlier on..

Unfortunately the next scene after it feels kinda bad.  It's M chastising Bond for destroying the clinic. I really don't like this scene at all.  It feels like they are just writing scenes where M & Bond are antagonists, even though they are on the same side.

We see the moment where Jack Petachi gets the dummy warheads replaced by actual nuclear warheads.  I know some people, like Calvin Dyson, are critical of showing the plot unfolding, and having us know more than the characters do, but in both Thunderball and this film, the buy required to believe the story without it being shown, would be just far too big to actually buy.  You wouldn't believe it, unless you saw it, so I don't really have a problem with that.

I also like the line from the base's computer when the change is made.  The computer explains that the dummy warheads will be replaced by W-80 thermonuclear devices, and then says "Have a nice day."  Now that is classic Lorenzo Semple Jr, and a nice touch.  I like that.

The mission by the way is a training mission, in case it were to ever have to be done for real.  Hmm, training missions is a recurring theme here...

We see the missiles being dropped, and some wonderful effects shots of the missiles flying, intercut with Fatima Blush killing Jack Petachi by causing him to crash his car by throwing her pet snake into the car.  One thing bugs me about this.  How does she know that Jack did his job for her?  It's a rather gaping plot hole, that just can't be missed.

I do like the fact though that the car doesn't explode on crashing and that Fatima plants an explosive in the crashed car to blow it up.  That's a nice touch of realism, that helps sell the film.

The missiles are brought down over water using a jamming system of some kind, and we get some early computer graphics showing the missiles incoming on a screen in the boat where the operation is taking place.  It kinda looks like either a Sinclair Spectrum or a Commodore 64 was used to create these images.  It's kind of interesting.

The missiles do not explode on contact with the water.  Huh?  Anyway, we see enough to know that SPECTRE have taken the missiles, and we get a classic bad guy ultimatum moment, in a NATO meeting chaired by M(?!?), and the UK Foreign Secretary.  Representatives from various world governments start rounding on the Americans, and there's a lot of cynicism being fired around.  Only those present, British Intelligence and the CIA know about it, but an American representative says "Wonderful! That means by now it's all over the Kremlin!"  This is again very much Lorenzo Semple Jr's handiwork, but it just feels a little too over the top here.  The Foreign Secretary tells M that he has no choice and must re-activate the Double-0 section.  Oh, so James Bond has not really been 007 here?  He's just been Commander James Bond of the British Secret Service?

Moneypenny tells Bond that M wants to see him immediately, and she thinks he's back in business.  We then cut back to Largo's super yacht. Huh?  Why are we seeing this scene, where Largo says Good Morning to everybody, and not seeing Bond's briefing with M?  Some of this feels a little suspect, and I'm not sure where to put the blame on this.  I know Irvin Kirshner, really likes character angles, but I don't see the character angle here, so I'm not really certain on blaming him.  It could be Lorenzo's writing, but again, I'm not sure that some of these scenes were meant to be intercut like this.  And I can't totally dog on the editor either, because he'll be following the instructions from his director.  This could be an ensemble issue, or it could reside in one of those areas I've previously mentioned, but I just don't feel that it totally resides in any of them.

Anyway, in the next cut, we see Largo in some kind of control room, and we're introduced to Domino Petachi, played here by Kim Basinger, via one wall of his room suddenly moving out of the way.  Okay, this is a super yacht, but some of this feels a little over the top.  Largo gives Domino an old pendant, the Tears Of Allah.  Hang on a minute, that rings a bell...

There's quite a good Q Branch scene that follows with "Algernon" and Bond talking, and going through some gadgets, and whilst this Q is nothing like the real thing, actually the scene plays pretty well, and with more than a touch of realism about it.  Algernon complaining about budget cuts is really kinda funny, and feels quite in keeping with the time.  Q/Algernon is played here by Alec McCowen, and is quite a good Q, even if it's nothing like Desmond Llewelyn.

Bond goes to the Bahamas, and it's in the sequence that we see Lorenzo Semple Jr's writing talent come into play.  Bond starts flirting with the first woman he meets, and it is kinda funny that during the Sean Connery era of official James Bond films, Bond was always flirting with women, and Lorenzo plays that well here.

We also get introduced to Nigel Small-Fawcett, from the British Embassy in Nassau, played here by Rowan Atkinson.  The name is brilliant.  Small-Fawcett.  Think about it, it's a hilarious send up of British double barrel names.  Rowan Atkinson is brilliant too, playing what is really an early version of Richard Latham from the Barclaycard ads, which later would become Johnny English in two movies.  A bit incompetent, and very English.  It's wonderful to see this early version, which came about 5 or so years before the Barclaycard ads, but you can see where they got the idea from.

We get our first scene between Bond and Blush in this film, and again Bond is flirting with her.  The two team up tho go diving, which I find strange.  I can't imagine Fiona Volpe doing the same, but Fatima does get it on with Bond, which is something that Bond has done before, bedded the femme fatale.  She plants a homing device on his scuba gear and Bond is soon attacked by sharks who are somehow being attracted to the homing device.  I don't understand this part and it really doesn't help the sequence at all.

Bond manages to discover the homing device and escapes by finding the fishing line of the other woman who he was flirting with earlier.  After discovering that her first attempt to kill Bond failed, Fatima tries again, by bombing Bond's room.  Unluckily for her, he goes to his companion's room, and so avoids the explosion that Fatima sets off.

Bond then travels to Nice in France, where he is met by his contact Nicole, also known as 326.  She is played by Saskia Cohen Tanugi, and is basically this film's Paula.  You'll see what I mean later.  It's also here that we are introduced to Felix Leiter, played here by Bernie Casey.  Bernie actually here plays Felix rather well, better than many of the actors in the official movies.  I'd put on Jack Lord and David Hedison ahead of Bernie in the list of the best Felix's.

One thing the film has gotten right up to this point has been the pacing.  Not too slow, not too fast, not perfect pacing, but pretty good.  Apart from a couple of scenes that didn't need to be here, I don't feel we've had any real issues with the pace.  In fact so far, we've had a good fight sequence, a good scene with Q, the early Johnny English, and a lot of material that hasn't felt bad, but hasn't felt really good either.  It feels like it could have been really good, if they'd just changed a few small elements, but also it could have been really bad if they had changed them in the wrong way.  Up to this point, the film has been walking a tightrope, and could have fallen off a few times, but somehow is still on the tightrope.

Bond spies on Largo's yacht using a telescope at the villa they are staying at, and Bond and Felix make plans to get some scuba gear so they can check the yacht out.  Meanwhile Domino comes ashore, and is followed by Bond to a health spa.  This sequence is very uncomfortable.  It's nothing more than an excuse to have Sean Connery around a lot of sexy females, and that is not something this film needs.  It is at this point that the film goes way downhill for me.  The sequence at the health spa, and the casino sequence later on are times when the film is at its weakest point.  The moment with the bouncer is meant to be funny, but just falls flat.  The "bomb with the tiny gyroscope" is just bad, as we will talk more about that in a moment.

And then we get a typical piece of Lorenzo Semple Jr camp as Domino goes to some mirrored doors and opens them to reveal... a video arcade room.  No, Calvin Dyson, casinos were not like this in the 80s, this is a piece of Lorenzo Semple Jr camp, and doesn't play badly, but honestly, the joke is a little weak.  And it doesn't get any better as Bond talks to Domino, and then meets Largo.  A lot of this "casino" sequence is just an excuse to have Bond in a tuxedo.  The Domination game between Largo and Bond is poor too, it's just a piece of foreshadowing and doesn't really do anything. You could have lost the health spa sequence and this casino sequence, including the tango between Domino and Bond and you would lose nothing plot wise, at all.  That's how bad these sequences are, they do absolutely nothing for the film.  The only moment in that whole sequence that plays even slightly well, is a brief conversation between Largo and Fatima, where there is obviously a little bit of flirting going on between the two.  Do they have a bit of a past together?  That angle would have been quite interesting and would have allowed us a little bit of insight into these two characters.  I don't know if it would have helped the film at this point, but I would be more interested in that, than watching Bond face Largo in a video game.

I must mention the Tango part of the sequence, because once again, in an unofficial Bond film, we have a dance sequence that is well shot and edited, and in a wonderful set, but really, it has no purpose in the film, it doesn't advance the plot at all, and unlike the dance sequence in Casino Royale 1967, it isn't introducing a character.  We do get a nice payoff though to the "bomb" gag from earlier, where Bond takes the 'bomb' right out of the guy's hand, says thanks, leaves him in the closet and the guy feints, and Bond opens it to reveal it's a cigar case for long thin cigars.  Sorry, no, not cigars, not for Bond.

Bond returns to the villa where he finds Nicole dead from drowning in some sort of water feature, not sure what it's meant to be.  And we begin a chase sequence where Bond is chasing Fatima.  Did Fatima kill Nicole herself?  We don't know, but that is clearly what is suggested here.

Bond unpacks the bike that Q sent for him, and he sets off in pursuit... wait a minute.  He's riding a motorcycle in a tuxedo?  That's just a little too silly.

The chase between Bond and Fatima is a good one, especially the bit where they try to load Bond, bike and all into the back of a lorry, only for Bond to escape when he uses the back ramp being lifted up as a ramp to escape.  Bond chases Fatima into an old dockside warehouse, where Bond is captured, and we get an interesting conversation between the two, that allows Bond to bring into play the Pen rocket we saw earlier on, and Fatima gets blown up.  I have to be honest here and say that Fatima Blush is a highlight of this movie, and her demise whilst somewhat exaggerated, does work.

The explosion causes a commotion outside the warehouse and Felix helps Bond escape.  Later, they are checking out the underside of Largo's yacht, but somehow, Bond ends up inside the yacht, separated from Felix, and then when Bond tries to make an un-noticed exit, a butler appears and says "Monsieur Largo is waiting for you, Sir."  Really?  This bit feels very weak, and gets no better as Largo shows Bond round his yacht.  This whole part of the film is a poor excuse to get us to our next major action sequence, and also to set up the change for Domino from Largo's girlfriend to Bond's ally.  But again, these are pretty weakly done, and really don't help the film at all.

It's a shame really that after a pretty good start, this middle bit is where the film falls very flat, very hard.  And the film really doesn't get much better.  Bond manages to send a message back to London, and we arrive in Palmyra in North Africa to get a horrible scene where Domino is to be auctioned to locals , and Bond is locked away in a tower in chains and shackles.  Bond manages to escape confinement thanks to a laser watch, and effects a rescue on Domino.  The chase that follows is really poor, and is just a bad sequence.  This particular sequence is also responsible for the blurb about no animals were harmed during the course of making this movie.  A rocket firing sub manages to dispatch of Bond's pursuers.  Okay, the gratuitous explosion count just started again.  What is it with unofficial Bond films and gratuitous explosions?  Casino Royale 1967 was bad for this but this is pretty gratuitous too.

Anyway, we're into the climactic final reel of the film, and hopefully we get a decent ending.  On the sub, Bond manages to use Domino's pendant to deduce where the bomb is going to be placed.  The sub detects underwater activity and Bond orders a check for underwater caves.  We then get an interesting payoff from the earlier Kremlin comment.  "Commander Peterson, are you equipped with the new XT-7Bs?"  The sub commander looks nervous.  "That's Top Secret.  How do you know about them?" to which Bond apologetically replies "From a Russian translation of one of your service manuals.  Sorry about that."  Nice payoff that one, but it did take a long time to get there.

The XT-7Bs are flying platforms that Bond and Felix stand on, and land after spotting a well.  They then are seen in scuba gear, getting into the water.  No offence, but where did that scuba gear come from?

Largo emerges from the water in an underground cavern.  Bond and Felix are in pursuit.  I have to say that the set for this is incredible.  The production designer obviously pulled out all the stops for this one, and it's large and detailed, and beautifully executed.  I really can't fault the designer here, the ruins that we see here are incredible.  To think this was a set at Elstree, is amazing, it looks real.  Bond tries to get inside, but is basically unable to get too far, and Leiter has to provide a distraction.  He is then joined by US marines and a bullet laden battle begins.  Largo escapes with the bomb and detonates the tunnel behind him, preventing Bond from following.  Bond gets back to Leiter and the marines, and they unleash the heavy artillery on the SPECTRE agents there.

It's kind of sad that we have to cut away there, but cut away we do, to Bond dropping into the well he saw earlier, and catching up to Largo and the bomb.  We get an underwater fight between Largo and Bond, which is a little underwhelming actually.  The sub with the bomb just carries on, and Bond has to fight off Largo once again.  Somehow the sub turns around and manages to pin Largo against a rock wall.  Bond works to deactivate the bomb, but Largo pulls a harpoon gun out that was concealed on the sub, and aims it at Bond.  Before he can shoot, another harpoon shoots and hits him.  Bond looks up to see Domino, and some other divers.  Where did they come from?  How did they get there?  I know some reviewers, especially Calvin Dyson, thought the final fight in Thunderball was bad, but this is worse.  At least in Thunderball we see Domino being rescued, and then when Largo is shot in the back by a harpoon there, the reveal that it was Domino that shot him, was not totally out of left field.  This is so far out of left field that we cannot tell how Domino and the divers got there, or even how long they were there.  Some people would use the term dues ex machina, but I don't think this qualifies.  We know Domino is a good diver, and we know that she has bad feelings about Largo after Largo left her to be sold into slavery, but how they suddenly turn up, just at the right moment, that is just left completely unexplained.

Bond deactivates the bomb, Largo dies, and that's it.

We then get a weird little sequence, where Bond and Domino are relaxing somewhere, a villa I believe and the gate is opened by a mysterious man in a suit.  Bond investigates and throws the man into the pool, only to discover that the mystery stalker is in fact, Nigel Small-Fawcett.  Yep, Rowan Atkinson has one last bit in the movie, pleading with James Bond to return to the service under M.  To which Bond replies, "Never again."  and Domino adds "Never?", and then the end theme begins as Bond winks at the camera.

Jeez, as far as final reels go, that was totally underwhelming, it had all the excitement of a damp squib and all the enthusiasm of a wet lettuce.  If the first part of the film was pretty good, the second part was dire.  It doesn't even have the modest excitement of Thunderball's final fight, and that wasn't particularly great either, but this was worse.

THE VILLAINS

I have to say that the villains crew here is somewhat of a mixed bag.  Blofeld, as portrayed by Max von Sydow, is okay, but nothing special.  Von Sydow was much better as Ming The Merciless in Flash Gordon.  Here, he's kinda going through the motions a bit, but the quality of the actor himself helps it along.

Largo on the other hand, is completely characterless here, and Klaus Maria Brandauer isn't even as good as Adolfo Celi was.

Dr Kovacs is this film's version of Latislav Kutze, but unlike in Thurderball, Kovacs doesn't turn on Largo, leaving him really as somewhat of a cipher character, without anything other than exposition.

Pat Roach as Lippe is a wonderful henchman, and despite only appearing in the fight at Shurblands, is actually a wonderful little character.  He has some little character moments that help elevate that fight sequence.

The best of the villains by far, is Fatima Blush.  Fatima's wardrobe is as outlandish as her accent, and her acting, but Barbara Carrera plus it off beautifully, giving us a well rounded character, with enough distinctiveness about her, that she actually compares favourably to Fiona Volpe, who whilst obviously from a similar mould, was much more cold and calculating.  And whilst Fatima also has that, she also has a certain flair about her that just takes her character to another level.

All in all, a mixed bag that doesn't really help the film overall.

THE HEROES AND ALLIES

Okay, let's start this bit with Bond himself.  Sean Connery, even in this film, is still very definitely James Bond.  Yeah, his performance is nowhere near his best in Goldfinger.  In fact, it's more on a par with his You Only Live Twice performance.  But even in his early fifties, just 2 years younger than Roger Moore, who was the official 007 at the time, He still comes across as Bond.  The apology to the submarine commander, is reminiscent of a similar apology to a rat in Diamonds Are Forever, in the way that he delivered that line.

Felix Leiter is played quite memorably here by Bernie Casey and as I've already stated, is only bettered by Jack Lord and David Hedison as Felix.  Felix gets a little more of the action here and is allowed to run with it too.  It's almost a shame we don't see him in the last 9 minutes or so, as it would have been quite nice to have him there at the end of the mission, but I can't complain too much.

Okay, now to the allies.  Nicole, Bond's french contact, is in my view, the most underdeveloped character of the bunch.  She is this film's Paula, both in her underdevelopment and in the fact that she exists in this film purely to die.  Also, like Paula, she has one moment of characterisation in the film, and that's it.  It's a shame, cos the ally who dies angle was being done to death around this time by John Glen in the official Bond series.

Edward Fox's M is really lame.  Unlike Bernard Lee's M in the official series, who may have disliked Bond's personality but still respected him, Edward Fox's M has no respect for 007, at least until the end of the film.  I never liked this version of M.

Alec McCowan's Algernon/Q is a real mixed bag.  Whilst nowhere near as good as Desmond Llewelyn, this Q is a distinctive character in himself, and really quite appropriate for the time that the film was made in.  The Thatcher government of the time was cutting back on what they viewed as extravagant public sector spending, so the interpretation of Q was really spot on with what would have been really happening.

Pamela Salem's Moneypenny is in fact the worst Moneypenny in all the films, even worse than Caroline Bliss.  She doesn't even have that much to do in the film, not really.

One character I haven't mentioned is Elliott, played by Ronald Pickup.  Now, Ronald is a wonderful actor, and I've seen him act wonderfully in many great roles, but here, his character is reduced to a pure cipher, giving out exposition only, nothing more.  I guess he's meant to be this film's version of Bill Tanner, but there was no need for this character to even exist.  There was nothing he said in the film that couldn't have been given to Moneypenny or M.

OTHER NOTES

The casino we see in the film, is called Casino Royale, a reference to the other unofficial film from 1967.  I previously mentioned that Lani Hall, who sang the title song here, is the wife of Herb Alpert, who recorded the title music for the other unofficial Bond film, Casino Royale 1967.

There are also connections between this film and Thunderball, other than Sean Connery himself.  Ricou Browning, who had directed the underwater sequences in Thunderball, did the same again for Never Say Never Again.

The deal that Sean Connery is reported to have had, included casting and scripting approval.

OVERALL

As a whole, the film is actually surprisingly weak, considering the talents involved.  Lorenzo Semple Jr's writing here is surprisingly hit and miss.  I wonder if that's because he was adapting an original screenplay, rather than writing one of his own.  Some things are clearly his touch and are really excellent, such as Nigel Small-Fawcett, and the arcade games in the hidden room of the casino, but other parts, like the way Moneypenny is written, and the antagonism between M & Bond, are poor attempts to parody the official films, or maybe poor attempts to copy the official films.

There are some enjoyable moments, especially involving Fatima Blush, but after a good start, the film just goes downhill so quickly, so badly, that it leaves you feeling distinctly underwhelmed by the whole experience.

If the writing had been up to Lorenzo's usual standard, it would have improved the whole movie.  Also, some of the casting was suspect.  I wonder if Sean Connery's involvement in script and casting approval had anything to do with that.

But yeah, this was a poor film really, but at least there were enjoyable parts of it.

Next time, we hit the top 20, and the weirdest film with the oldest Bond, a strange villain combination and some cringeworthy moments...

The Viewpoint Blog's Ranking of the James Bond Films. 22: Live And Let Die.

We're onto day 4 of our countdown of the James Bond films from worst to best and at number 22, we have Roger Moore's first James Bond film, Live And Let Die.



Now, some Bond purists, look down on Roger Moore's portrayal and characterisation of James Bond as being too light hearted, too jovial, too comedic.  But I know that many others, such as Calvin Dyson, absolutely love the Roger Moore era, because it didn't take itself too seriously.

What do I think of Roger Moore?  Well, he's not my favourite Bond, but he's not my least favourite either.  I always ranked George Lazenby below him, and as time as progressed, I think time has actually been kind to Roger Moore's portrayal, and generally, it's no longer viewed as the worst, but why?

Well, I already felt that even in the worst Bond film on this list, Moonraker, that Roger Moore gave a good performance as 007, and he had a pedigree for this kind of role, after playing Simon Templar in The Saint, and as Lord Brett Sinclair in The Persuaders.  So, I never felt, even as a kid, that Roger Moore wasn't a good actor for the role, but as I already stated from Moonraker, the worst aspects there was not Moore's performance, but the scripting, and especially how the villains were utilised and portrayed.

So, did Live And Let Die suffer in a similar way, well, let's begin the review to find out.

THE PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE

After the gun barrel, we open up in New York at the United Nations, where a speech is being made by a Hungarian delegate.  We then cut to a shot of an English translator at work, providing translation for a number of different delegates, including the UK's delegate there.  Suddenly, a mysterious hand removes the wire from the United Kingdom's audio slot, and replaces it with another wire attached to a plunger device of some kind.  And then, somehow, the UK delegate winces in pain, and slumps on the desk, dead.  At this point we are introduced to the two people who will become the focus of this film.  The main villain, Dr Kananga, played by Yaphet Kotto, and the Bond girl, Solitaire, played here in her film debut, by Jane Seymour.  The shot introducing is only a few seconds, and is played as part of a group of shots, of people staring at the dead guy.

We then cut to New Orleans, where a man is stood outside a "Fillet Of Soul" restaurant, watching it.  Suddenly, a funeral procession turns into the street, and another man comes up beside our guy.  The first guy asks who's funeral it is, only to be told it is his, as the other guy sticks a knife in him.  Whereupon the coffin bearers walk either side of the body, put the coffin down over it, and when they lift it up, the body has been picked up inside the coffin.  How, I have no idea, but that's a neat trick.  Then the whole tone of the procession changes, and everybody starts dancing, as the band leading the procession switch from downtempo to upbeat.  Believe it or not, this is not made up, this kind of jazz funeral, really does happen in New Orleans, although they don't usually pick up dead bodies on route...

We then cut to San Monique in the Caribbean, where another guy is tied to a steak and is facing a man holding a snake.  No prizes for guessing what happens next.  Yep, the snake bites the guy, and he dies.  Wow!  less than 5 minutes in and the body count is already at 3.  At this rate, we'll have about 72 deaths in this film if this keeps up.

After this we cut to the titles... huh, wait a minute!  We haven't seen Bond yet.  How can you cut to the titles here, we haven't been introduced to our new James Bond.  We've had a brief introduction of Bond girl and villain, so brief that you wouldn't realise that they are meant to be Bond girl and villain, but no introduction to Bond?  Come on, now.  That's poor.

I don't mind the fact it has basically set up the plot, but this is a James Bond film, and where is James Bond?

THE TITLE SEQUENCE.

The titles for this movie are visually quite striking, and they're basically using a theme of skulls here, to evoke the voodoo element in the movie, and also evoking death.  They're nice titles, but the fibre optic backdrop does kinda date them a bit, and why is that woman waving formlessly at something or someone that we can't see?  Also, those red, blue and green arms and hands look a little bit weird.



The music though, from Paul McCartney and Wings, is excellent, and actually stands up on its own without the titles.  That is one of the things that I use to define whether or not a song or a score that is created as a film theme, is actually any good, does it stand up just as music?  Some don't, some do, that one stands up very well indeed.

THE PLOT.

The film proper opens up with a shot of a sleeping female, and she's in the bed of a man, who at this point, we hadn't seen before in the prior films.  I can only guess that this must be our new Bond.  Not much of an intro though.  We here a persisting buzzing sound, but it's not an alarm clock, it's actually the front door bell.  Our mystery man gets up, puts on a robe, and quips back at our mystery woman, "Not married, by any chance, are you?"  We see a familiar face at the door, a rather grizzly looking M, who when our mystery man opens the door says, "Good morning, 007."  Well, when Bond checked his watch, it was 5:48, so it's early, but M paying Bond a visit, in his apartment???  Sorry, that just doesn't add up.  In Doctor No, Bond was called into the office and it was gone 3am.  I cannot imagine that M would ever do this to one of his agents.

The rest of this sequence, as it seems to become somewhat "Carry On"-esque.  Bond using a couple of machines to make M some coffee, and M's quip about "Is that all it does?" is kinda funny, but Moneypenny's arrival and the Italian agent trying to avoid being spotted by M, and the whole thing with the watch, really feels kinda out of place, or perhaps I should say out of situ.  It feels wrong that all this happens in Bond's apartment.  We should have Q explaining the watch to Bond, not Bond explaining the watch to M.  So much about this scene feels wrong in so many ways.  The slightly conspiratorial smile that Moneypenny gives Bond after M leaves, and her line "...or should I say, ciao, bello." and the sequence with the magnet watch pulling down the zip of her dress do work kinda well, but it's not enough to save the sequence, from being one of the worst in Bond history.  I'll do that full list after the reviews.  That'll be one of several lists that I will do later in the month.

There's an odd little scene where someone, who we're not sure at this point, is dealing out tarot cards, and saying some things, as a plane flies Bond to New York.  I think we're supposed to believe these are connected, but honestly, the film would be better without it.  I know it's setting up a theme that will play into the movie, but I really think it's unnecessary.

Bond arrives in New York, and a car is waiting for him.  The car has a phone in it, and we get what should have been a scene that would have intercut between Bond in the car, and Felix Leiter, played here by David Hedison, in a building somewhere in New York, but we get all of Bond's dialogue first and then all of Leiter's.  It really felt like somebody forgot to do the editing on that bit.  A white car pulls up alongside the car that Bond is riding in, and his driver is shot with a poison dart from out of a wing mirror.  Like, really?  That is a pretty big buy for me to make in this film, and it's made worse by the fact that the driver, puts his foot down, all the way on the accelerator.  Somehow, I don't think a dead man is going to put his foot down like that.  We get a tense moment out of it, as Bond has to try to bring the car to a stop, whilst somehow not removing the dead guy's foot from the accelerator.  But the un-believability of it just takes me right out of the film.

We have a moment where Kananga returns to his embassy, and seemingly is dictating a letter to his secretary, but in fact, he is playing an audio tape of the letter, whilst he, the girl we saw earlier, and his goons change their clothes.  Err, why?  It just comes across as silly.  The clunk of the reel-to-reel tape player starting up, would be obvious to anybody who was listening in.  You can get away with some ludicrous things as long as you play it straight, but this is beyond ludicrous.

Meanwhile, Bond visits the address where the white car we saw earlier was registered to.    It's a shop called the Oh Cult Voodoo Shop.  I get this is probably a Tom Mankiewicz touch, but it's so lame, it ought to be put out of it's misery.

Bond does some investigating, whilst in the embassy, Kananga's goons and the lady, make preparations to leave, but we don't see Kananga.  We then cut to Bond checking out the white car, before he becomes aware that a lift is arriving, and ducks out of sight.  Now we saw 4 people at the top end of the lift and Kananga was not one of them, but there are clearly 5 sets of shoes seen walking to another car.  We don't know who the 5th person is.  Bond watches the car leave and hails a taxi to trail it.  Meanwhile the woman inside the shop is talking to someone on a radio.  All she says is "He's tailing."  We then cut back to another car outside and another person "I've got him in my sights."  All in all, it's all very suspicious and we think that Bond is caught between a rock and a hard place.

This is the start of the infamous "Bond in Harlem" sequence, and basically the whole sequence is just painful, watching James Bond walk blindly and blithely into Harlem without a clue in the world what will happen, is just painful.  There is nothing mitigating about this whole sequence, though to be fair, it doesn't degenerate like the Bondola sequence from Moonraker.  It just starts off very painful to watch, and never gets any better, never gets any worse.  Just remains painful until we get to the moment when Felix's voice emirates from... a car cigarette lighter.  Oh, why don't you just turn the corn all the way up to 11??? Oh, you just did...

It's also during this sequence that we see Mr Big for the first time, looking rather suspiciously like Dr Kananga in some bad prosthetics...

Anyway, Kananga leaves New York to return to San Monique and Bond follows.  We have a scene where a snake enters Bond's hotel room, and we get a moment that feels like it's trying to evoke the spider scene from Dr No.  Bond disposes of the reptile by using his cigar to light some flammable hairspray or deodorant, I'm not entirely sure what it is, and apparently the hotel added Flame Grilled Snake to the menu that night...

Oh yeah, one thing that this film does do well, is echo From Russia With Love, in the fact that Bond checks out his room as he arrives with a gadget and also transmits something to someone, but we never see who receives it, which is a dropped "bolas"...

Oh yeah, I guess I ought to mention this here too, but in this film, and in The Man With The Golden Gun, Bond doesn't smoke cigarettes, he smokes cigars, big long cigars.  Roger Moore was a cigar smoker back in those days, but seeing James Bond lighting up a cigar feels wrong and out of character.  We hadn't seen Bond smoke since On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and even then it was fairly brief.  But cigars? No, that's not very Bondian at all.

It's just after this that we are introduced to CIA Agent Rosie Carver, played by Gloria Hendry.  She is the most inept agent we've ever seen in the Bond films, even worse than the double identity 'James Bond's of the Casino Royale spoof, worse than Felix Leiter in Goldfinger.  Her whole presence in the film is cringeworthy, and marks her down as being one of the worst characters in James Bond film history.

I know what you're saying, there's a worse character than Rosie coming up later in this very film, and we'll get to that when he makes his appearance.  I must mention that after we are introduced to Rosie, Bond receives a tarot card with his breakfast the next morning, the card is the Queen Of Cups, and Bond goes to a local tarot establishment to find out what that means.

Anyway, Bond and Rosie hire a boat, and we are introduced to Quarrel Jr, played by Roy Stewart.  In the books, this was Quarrel, because Live And Let Die was written before Dr No.  Rosie's ineptness is on-display here as well, which makes the whole scene worse.  I like Quarrel Jr, he's quite good actually as an ally of Bond.  He's a contender for the Top 10 Bond Allies list.

I think we need to make something clear here.  I'm not blaming Gloria Hendry, the actress, for Rosie Carver.  She is doing what she is required to do by the script.  My problem with Rosie is the way she is written.  Tom Mankiewicz wrote her so badly, that her whole presence in the film feels like a waste of time.  On the other hand, Quarrel Jr is well written, mostly due to the fact that it is actually meant to be Quarrel, except for the fact that Dr No was shot 11 years before Live And Let Die and Quarrel died in Dr No.  So, the way Quarrel Jr is written, is mostly due to Ian Fleming.  As far as I know, Rosie Carver was never in the original book, so she is written by Tom Mankiewicz and the difference in the writing quality shows.  Also, in the film, Solitaire's real name is never mentioned, why I don't know, but her real name is Simone Latrelle.  I don't know why this detail was omitted, but I would have prefered it to be included, if only towards the end of the film, so that Bond had a name to use other than Solitaire.

The writing has always been up and down when it comes to Bond films.  At best, even with changes, it still tells the story well.  At worst, it can be massively detrimental to the film, and I guess that how well I feel a film has been written, influences how I feel about the film.  Many would go for the action sequences, the jokes, the visuals, but for me, a good film is grounded in a good, well written story, and without that base, there's nothing to support the rest of the film.  Oh, I would add that also, you need to believe in your main character, without that, the rest of the film struggles.  And at least in this regard, Roger Moore is doing better than George Lazenby did.  I believe in him as Bond, whereas I didn't with George Lazenby, but it is fair to say Moore's best performance was yet to come.

Anyway, enough distractions, back to the plot.  Bond checks out Solitaire's house from the boat, and the boat docks somewhere, but we don't see exactly where in relation to the house.  Bond and Rosie check out the area and Rosie leads Bond to an area, where they get it on, but Bond reveals that he knows Rosie Carver is a double agent, and threatens to kill her if she doesn't talk.  But she chooses to run, and is killed by one of the many scarecrow-type things on the island.

We see a rift starting to develop between Kananga and Solitaire, whilst Bond is on a hand glider, tethered to Quarrel's boat.  At a signal from Bond the tether is released, and Bond floats down to land outside Solitaire's house.  Solitaire finds Bond playing with her Tarot cards and is much miffed.  This is the scene where Bond dupes her into making love to him, giving him her virginity and removing her 'gift'.  It is an uncomfortable sequence, and one that leaves me feeling cold.  Bond has done some very ungentlemanly things before, but this feels worse than anything else up to this point in the film series, even making love to Domino before telling her of her brother's death.

I have to confess, I have little care at this for most of the characters, and we're not even halfway through the movie yet, though again, it has already felt much longer than the 53 or so minutes the film has been running.  Bond leads Solitaire across the island, and we get a scene with Baron Samedi which is just strange.  Also strange is the way the music builds up as though Bond is about to discover something major, but all we get is a peaceful meadow scene.  That feels really poor actually.

However, Bond does discover that poppies are being grown under camouflaged netting, so that they won't be discovered.  Now that works for aerial surveillance obviously, but Bond was on foot, so that didn't really help.

And as a helicopter fires on Bond and Solitaire, we begin a big action sequence, which normally would be a good thing.  However here, the sequence feels a bit lame in general.  Let me explain. After evading the helicopter, Bond commanders a bus, and is chased by three motorcycles and two police cars.  A wet patch deals with the motorcycles, and Bond's weaving of the bus puts one police car out of action.  The bus is diverted onto a road with a low bridge by a roadblock, and Bond drives straight underneath, with the top deck of the bus being sliced right off and landing on the remaining police car.  Yep, lame, really.  Nice technical trick, but lame in story terms.  And we still have an hour to go.

The bus pulls up on a dock, where Quarrel Jr is waiting with his boat and they make their escape, much to the chagrin of Kananga.

Bond arrives with Solitaire in New Orleans, and they get into a cab, but Bond recognises the driver from New York.  Turns out he's an associate of Mr Big's.  He takes them to an airfield where some of Mr Big's hoods plan to drop Bond out of a plane without a parachute.  Hmm, he would end up actually doing that 3 films later...

Solitaire has a strange moment where she attacks Bond with her handbag, but this somehow manages to allow Bond to escape.  This is weird writing really.  It makes no sense.  Hmm, I've been saying that a lot since reviewing Casino Royale 1967...

Bond spots an small airplane waiting, and goes to commandeer it, and we're introduced to an old woman who's obviously a learner pilot, and the sequence degenerates here.  The woman is completely unnecessary and she adds nothing at all to the film.  It would have been far better if she hadn't even been there.

Anyway, Bond meets up with Felix in a New Orleans hotel, and we see one of his fellow CIA agents, the one who helped Bond escape from Harlem, meet the same fate as the guy at the start of the film, but they don't show him being killed, which is kinda odd.  Bond and Felix take a seat at the New Orleans Fillet Of Soul restaurant, where we get a performance of Live And Let Die from B J Arnau, and it's not a bad one, but it does feel kinda shoehorned in.  Felix is separated from Bond, and Bond gets lowered into some villain's lair.  In New York, he chose the booth that swung round, here, he gets the sinking feeling.  Some of these moments are a little too convenient.  Especially, the fact that they replace the table, chairs, and drinks, before Felix gets back, very convenient...

Bond is in a room, where everybody else is a silhouette at first.  We're re-introduced to Mr Big here, and Mr Big tries to intimidate Bond into answering his question, the question being did he fool about with Solitaire.  Bond says he will only answer when he sees Kananga.  At this point Mr Big removes the prosthetics to reveal, that he is Dr Kananga.  Gee, I never saw that coming, I mean he so didn't look like he was wearing obvious prosthetics... ok, I'm being sarcastic.

The most predictable reveal in the film, and indeed, in all of Bond-dom.  When it comes to disguises, the Bond films are horrible at it.  Whether its Bond turning Japanese in You Only Live Twice, Bond being Sir Hilary Bray in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, or the dual identity of Dr Kananga and Mr Big here, every attempt at disguise flops, horribly.

This next bit isn't too bad, as we basically get the villain's scheme, and it's actually not completely over the top, but is a big deal.  Putting all other dealers out of business, by giving away free heroin at his chain of restaurants, and then when they're all out of business, charging exorbitant prices for it.  It quite nicely brings all the various elements together that we've been introduced to during the film.  This is the point where the film actually gets kinda good for a little while.  What a shame it's taken over 70 minutes to get here.

Bond is knocked out and taken to a crocodile farm, here he is going to be left as crocodile food.  This part of the film actually plays well.  As TeeHee shows Bond around the farm, it builds the tension nicely.  We see that the farm also doubles as a Heroin refinery, so it has plot relevance too.  When we get to feeding time, then the tension actually increases and as Bond is left on the island to become a feast for hungry crocs, it pitches up the tension again.  The slow moving crocs create a real sense of menace too, the whole thing plays really well.  What a shame it comes this far into the film.

The music isn't too bad here either.  But such a shame that the musical score for this film is so 70s.  George Martin cleverly cuts the music when Bond realises that the boat he is trying to attract to the island via his magnet watch is tethered and won't get to him, and just letting the natural sound play, adds another level to the growing tension.  It's one of the few bits that George Martin got right in this film.  For some reason, John Barry wasn't available to do the score, and they hired George Martin, the famous Beatles producer to do it.  But the score is so 70s sounding, that even when I first saw it about 10 years after its initial release, the score sounded horribly dated, and time has not been kind on the music.  Other than the title song, the rest of the score is pretty forgettable.

In fact, when it comes to this whole film, it is very dated, not just in score terms, but in visual terms too.  Blaxploitation cinema was big at this time, and it's clear that the producers were using some of those elements in this film.  But the problem is, it does make the film very dated, very quickly.  Even before the end of the 1970s, Blaxploitation films were looking very dated and had fallen out of favour with viewers and the studios.

Anyway, Bond escapes by using some of the crocs as stepping stones, and proceeds to destroy the refinery, with a mixture of luring one of the crocs into the refinery with some of the meat that was left, petrol and fire.  Bond then escapes the place by stealing one of the villain's boats, and we begin the pursuit through the canals and bayous.  It's also here that we're introduced to probably the most incompetent policeman since the Keystone Kops, Sheriff J W Pepper, played by Clifton James.  There is nothing Fleming-esque about him, and I know that rankles the purists, but J W is a highlight of this film, along with the whole chase sequence.  J W is a southern racist of the old Jim Crowe school, but that actually makes the character funnier.

The whole chases sequence is intercut with hilarious moments from J W Pepper, and the various people we encounter on route.  It's a well done sequence, and the most entertaining bit of the movie, but again, I have to say it, it comes too late in the movie really to save what had been before this, a really dire movie, but at least the sequence goes some way to redeeming it.

I particularly like the bit at the end, where Bond is puttering in New Orleans harbour, at least I think it is, and Sheriff J W Pepper turns up and looks at Bond and says, "What are you, some kind of doomsday machine, boy?"  and then his response to being told that Bond is a secret agent.  "SECRET AGENT?!?!?  ON WHO'S SIDE?!?!?"  He is quite funny, and just the right kind of light relief needed before the film gets serious again.

The final reel of this film takes place on San Monique, and is basically Bond rescuing Solitaire whilst Leiter and Quarrel Jr plant bombs to destroy the poppy fields.  We get a coffin full of snakes, and various bits, but after the excitement of the crocodile farm and the boat chase, this feels like an anti-climax.  Yeah, the poppy fields get blown up and Bond rescues Solitaire and kills Baron Samedi via a lot of snake bites, and uses the same elevator that Baron Samedi came up to escape into the villain's lair, and they manage to avoid most of the guards, but the whole sequence feels anti-climactic.

Bond and Solitaire run into Kananga, and captured.  Kananga asks about the unusual gun he has.  It turns out it fires compressed gas pellets, which Kananga proceeds to demonstrate by shooting one into the sofa that his henchman Whisper is sitting on.  The sofa inflates aggressively and then blows up when it can no longer contain the pressure.  I know they're setting up the villain's demise later, and the moment with the inflating sofa is actually quite funny, but the whole sequence here feels lame and lazy.  There's a really over the top demise planned for Bond and Solitaire, via being drowned and eaten by a shark.  I really find this whole sequence to be exemplifying all the worst things about this film, and about the Bond franchise in general.  For instance, Bond using his watch to pick up a compressed gas pellet that had been left lying around.  No magnet can work that well from that kind of distance.  Even the most powerful magnets, Neodymium magnets, only really work at close range, but they pull about 500lbs equivalent each.  So, they would easily pull a little pellet like that, though not at that range.

The watch also has another feature.  The outside dial has a seated edge, and spins like a circular saw.  This is much more believable, but since this hadn't been mentioned at all up until this point, this really feels sonic screwdriver-esque.  We get a bit of a fight between Kananga and Bond, before they end up in the water, and Bond forces Kananga to swallow the compressed gas pellet, leaving Kananga to die via an explosion of compressed gas.  The idea is lame, and the execution is even worse, as we get the most obvious balloon pretending to be Kananga exploding, and yet there is no blood.  You'd think that everywhere would be splattered with blood and guts.

Anyway, we cut to Bond and Solitaire leaving by train, as Felix sees them off, and we see some post sacks being loaded on.  Anyhow, TeeHee was in one of those sacks, and he pops up again to have one more pop at Bond, in a sequence that is rather obviously meant to evoke memories of From Russia With Love here, in the fact that it is the henchman's own gadget, his metal pincer arm, that is his own undoing.  Bond grabs a nail clipper and manages to cut the wires that control the pincer, locking TeeHee to the window, and he then throws him out the window.  We end with a shot of Baron Samedi apparently riding on the front of the train.

The whole thing feels weak and feeble, like they're trying too hard, and not succeeding.

THE VILLAIN

I have to say that Dr Kananga/Mr Big is probably the worst written villain in Bond history.  Heck, even Hugo Drax was better written than this, and he was let down by a poor portrayal.  I can't dog too much on Yaphet Kotto, he does well with what he's got, but most of the dialogue feels like the stuff of Bond parodies.

His demise is equally lame, and is probably one of the worst villain demises in Bond history, as well as being one of the worst moments in Bond history, only topped in this film, by the whole Bond in Harlem sequence.

THE BOND GIRL/WOMAN

Solitaire is played brilliantly here by Jane Seymour.  Yes, she does seem to be the typical damsel in distress, but having her being one of the villain's mob at the start is just brilliant actually and Jane Seymour plays it well.

She isn't one of the best Bond girls, but isn't one of the worst either.  Just generally solid and enjoyable to watch.

THE ALLIES.

M and Moneypenny are played well, but it just feels wrong that they are visiting Bond's apartment, rather than calling Bond into the office.  There's no Q here, but the watch means his presence is felt.

Felix Leiter here is much better than he's been since Dr No, but he's still not much more than a cipher character.  He has little action of his own, and isn't well used.  But David Hedison puts more character into him in the moments he's on screen, than Cec Linder, Rik Von Nutter and Norman Burton put together.

Harold Strutter, the guy who comes to Bond's aid in Harlem, and appears again in New Orleans, is pretty good in the scenes he's in, and Lon Satton gives him some great character, but it's a shame that he's killed, even though we don't see him being killed.

Quarrel Jr, I've already mentioned earlier on, as being one of Bond's best allies, even though he isn't a major part of the film, but Roy Stewart plays him well, and gives him some character too.  I would have loved to have seen Quarrel Jr make some other appearances, but that was not to be.

SUPPORTING CAST

I'm utilising a 'supporting cast' section here to highlight a couple of people.

First, Sherrif J W Pepper.  He is a comedic highlight in this film, and I know some of the purists will hate me for saying this, but I liked J W Pepper in this.  Clifton James played him beautifully giving him such energy and character that it makes the scenes a joy to watch.

Secondly, there is another appearance here, by Roy Hollis, who appeared as a Las Vegas Sheriff in Diamonds Are Forever.  I don't know if it's meant to be the same character, as he's a Louisiana Sheriff here but it's a nice touch.  

THE HENCHMEN

Tee Hee is the main henchman here, played by Julius Harris, and Tee Hee is actually a lot more memorable than his boss.  The metal arm with the pincer gives him a nice villainous touch, and his smile and laugh just add to the sense of menace that he has.  In the Crocodile farm scenes, Tee Hee has some real character to him, and he really comes across well.  It's a shame that he got paired with such a lame villain.

The rest of the crew don't come off so well.  Whisper is interesting but ultimately not that good.  Baron Samedi is completely over the top without any real character to him.  Most of Mr Big's goons, including the guy J W Pepper catches up to, are pretty forgettable, none have any real character to them, and just don't add anything to the film.

STUNTS AND ACTION SEQUENCES

The best sequence in the film, is from the crocodile farm to the end of the boat chase, and that contains some of the best stunt work in the film, and the boat chase is far and away the best action sequence.

The sequence with the top deck of the bus being shawn right off was an amazing technical trick to pull off, but that whole sequence felt kinda weak all the way.  It just wasn't strong enough to help what was already a weak film.

THE SCORE

I haven't really mentioned the score in the previous three entries, mainly because they're solid but nothing special.  John Barry's Moonraker score was good, Burt Bacharach's Casino Royale score was okay, if a little weird in places for not really playing the right emotional cues but where it worked, it worked very well.  David Arnold's Quantum Of Solace score was good, but trying to avoid using the Bond theme was a small mistake, not a big one, but enough to make some of the scoring more difficult than it should have been.

But here, as I previously mentioned, the score was done by former Beatles producer George Martin and is generally weak, and dated.  It comes across as very 70s and always has done, which meant it dated very quickly.  John Barry's scores have a much more timeless feel about them, but this I'm afraid didn't do the film any real favours.

George Martin's version of the Bond theme is a little weird too.



It's okay, but it's nothing special.

OTHER NOTES

It's weird that this goes back from 2.4:1 to 16:9 aspect ratio.  Not sure why, but after watching Thunderball onwards in the wider ratio, this feels weird.  Maybe that's because they realised the first three were the best films in the series so far and they thought that going back to the aspect ratio of those films would help, but really it didn't have anything to do with the aspect ratio.

It was weird how they made a conscious effort to avoid the 'Connery tropes' as if they were doing all they could to avoid making reference to Connery.  Bond drinking Bourbon, not having a hat, smoking cigars, it was like they were looking over their shoulder at the shadow of Sean Connery, and were afraid of it.

But that wasn't the only shadow they were aware of, as they were also aware of the shadow of one of Roger Moore's previous characters, Simon Templar, aka The Saint.  Even though Roger Moore had filmed The Persuaders between The Saint and Live And Let Die, it seemed that they were desperate to avoid comparison between Bond and Templar.  It has to be said though, there are moments that feel somewhat Templar-esque, but they were desperate to avoid the eyebrow raise which was almost considered a Roger Moore trademark.

It would be fair to say that James Bond and Simon Templar do share some character traits, but generally, Moore does sell himself as James Bond in this film, which is important.  If you can't believe in the actor playing the character, then the film does tend to fall apart.  It happened to a degree on On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and Roger Moore managed to avoid that trap here.  He is Bond, albeit a different aspect than we saw in the Sean Connery films, but there is enough there to make you believe in him, and that's what matters.

OVERALL

The film overall is mostly pretty weak.  There's a 25 minute or so block around reels 4 & 5 where the film does well, but the rest is pretty awful.  Kananga is a weak villain, though the scheme is pretty good.  They would do the drug dealer angle far better many years later.

The voodoo theme is meant to help the story, but often seems to hinder it.  But at least the croc farm and the boat chase are enjoyable, and you can get a good laugh from Sheriff J W Pepper.

Next time, number 21, where we take our second and final entry into the unofficial films.

The Viewpoint Blog's Ranking of the best James Bond Films. 23: Quantum Of Solace

So we continue to make our way up our ranking of the James Bond films from worst to best, and at number 23, we find Daniel Craig's second movie as 007, and the shortest film of the entire series, coming in at just over 1 hour 45 minutes.  In the old days, when films were shown on big reels that lasted about 20 minutes, this duration would make it a 5 reeler, where as most two hour films are commonly referred to as 6 reelers, and the big finale would always happen in reel 6.  So does the shorter film actually help or hinder the film.  Time to find out as we review, Quantum of Solace.



Oh boy, that trailer looked so good...

THE PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE

This is the second film not to feature the gun barrel sequence right at the beginning.  I don't really like this, especially as it's been a long term feature of the Bond films.  The Pierce Brosnan gun barrel sequences were just about perfect for modern Bond films, and I'm disappointed that we don't have those 3D style gun barrels, as they were visually very good, and a nice improvement on the original style created by Maurice Binder.

In fact, our first shot seems to be an incredibly long-distance, yet fast zoom, probably a helicopter shot, though maybe with some zoom on it as well.  And we're thrown right into the action with James Bond in a car chase.  This can work quite well if done right.  It throws you into the action quickly, and can be a great way of pulling the audience in quickly.  If done badly, it actually shocks you straight out of the movie, and it's very difficult to get the viewer back in, once that happens.

Unfortunately, this tends more towards the latter than the former.  Whilst it doesn't exactly shock you out of the movie, it doesn't pull you into it either.

The biggest problem with the sequence, is the editing.  I have this theory about editing and films.  The more you notice the cuts and edits, the less you're actually into the film, and the film hasn't done its job, which is to pull you into the story, and you don't really notice the edits.  When you notice the edits, they're not good edits.

This is part of the problem with Quantum Of Solace, and it comes in practically from the start.  There's a lot of fast cutting here, a lot of shots are no more than 5 seconds at most, which is 120 frames of film, and when you have shots that are no more than 12 frames, then the shots are probably unnecessary, and you should look at how the edit actually plays, because it won't play well to an audience.  If you as a Director or Editor think it's intense, then your average cinema goer is probably going to be blown out of their seats and not in a good way.  They're not going to understand what's going on, and you're going to lose them from the film.

Sometimes, shots need to take a little more time, in order to allow the audience to come along for the ride.

The next big problem, is the actual action itself.  Now, I have heard this car chase described as bland, and I think that's actually a little unkind.  It's not bland, but it doesn't feel very much like a James Bond car chase.  Part of that is down to the fact that the car doesn't have any gadgets other than bullet proof windows, but that on it's own shouldn't make this feel not very 'Bondian'.  Heck, the first car chase in the James Bond series ever, involving a hearse chasing Bond in a rental car, had no gadgets and really didn't have much happen, but that still feels more 'Bondian' than this one does.  Sure there's a lot of action in the sequence, and they do manage to get one thing right, which is managing to remove a door from Bond's car, which gives a little bit of vulnerability, and really helps the sequence actually, but just about everything else about the sequence felt like something out of Transporter or XXX, not really like a James Bond car chase at all.

Watching the "Bond On Location" special feature, I saw the camera they used to film some parts of the chase.  It's called the Ultimate Arm, and it really is a wonderful technical achievement, to get the shots they got, but ultimately, it feels a little bit like a great technical achievement rather than something that helps with telling the story.  The shots themselves don't really seem to add much.  However, the one shot they used a fair bit which really worked, was the shot from inside Bond's car, looking at Bond.  It's not your standard camera shot for cars, it's a lot lower, and is looking up from just off the passenger seat, and actually allows you to see more of what Bond does inside the car.  I'm not sure if it's a fish eye lens, or just a standard wide angle lens, but to my eyes, those are the best shots in the whole sequence   It's a nice angle, and I'd be happy to see further shots like that one in other car chase sequences.

The editing will crop up again later on...

So, anyway, Bond manages to dispose of his pursuers, and we get a wonderful establishing shot of the location that Bond is arriving in, Siena in Italy, ruined by an overly pretentious title card giving the name of the location.  This is another problem I have with this sequence and indeed the film as a whole.  These location title cards are just way too over the top.  It seems like an overly pretentious, arthouse way of titling locations, and what you really need is location title cards that just do the job, and do it without the pretentiousness.  This is a James Bond film, not some piece of arty French cinema.  Don't get me wrong, I like some really arty French films, but the style of one does not translate to the other very well.  The James Bond style would not translate to arthouse movies, it would be visually quite boring, and likewise, the arthouse style does not translate to James Bond films very well at all.

There is a place in Bond films for more artistic stuff, usually not in big action scenes, but in the quieter, talking moments, you can do things that are slightly different.  If it works, it's great.  If not, it matters less than if you mess up an action sequence for instance.  As long as the shots work for the story, it should be okay.

Anyway, Bond arrives at this underground garage, somewhere in Siena, we don't know exactly where, and he gets out of the car and opens the boot, to reveal Mr White is in the boot.  That moment actually works.  It has some real shock value.  If Bond pursuers had succeeded in driving him off the road, there was a chance they could have killed Mr White too in the resulting accident.  However, if we'd seen that Mr White had been put into the boot of the car that Bond was driving, the car chase would have had an extra tension all of it's own, which actually would have made it feel a little more James Bond-like.  Yeah, it worked in the way it was intended to, but it could have been so much better.  Also, I would have liked it, if like the Quantum Of Solace video game, the film had actually started at Mr White's mansion, picked up right where we left off Casino Royale, and maybe started with a shootout there, leading into the car chase.  So many missed tricks in this opening, it could have been so much better.

THE TITLE SEQUENCE.

This is a title sequence and title song that I have to put low on their individual lists, because they're not particularly good.  MK12 produced these titles instead of Daniel Kleinman, and to be honest, it shows.  There isn't really a lot of imagination showed in this title sequence, it's too dark, and everything is in slow motion, and it is paired with one of the worst main title songs in Bond History, perhaps only beaten by Moonraker.

The titles themselves animate onto screen in a weird way as well, and it doesn't really work.

I don't honestly know what more to say.  Jack White was good in The White Stripes and Alicia Keys was great as a solo artist, but the whole way they combine just doesn't work, at least not for this song.



THE PLOT

The film proper starts with a series of shots setting up Siena, again, specifically, a particular horse racing event that takes place every year.  A crew shot some documentary style footage to be used in the final film, and they did a very good job, it adds some good atmosphere to the sequence.

We are then shown Mr White being helped into a chair, and Bond tells him "Don't bleed to death."  Oh my goodness!  Humour, in a Bond film, and it's appropriate humour too.  It turns out this an MI6 safe house, and also here are various other MI6 operatives, Craig Mitchell, M's personal bodyguard, and indeed, M herself.

We then get a lot exposition, allowing us to remind ourselves what happened in the last film, and basically setting up the story.  I have to admire the fact that they do this very quickly.  In a 2 hour film, you have no more than 30 minutes to set up the film's story, and get into the "meat and two veg", the main course as it were.  Here, the basic setup is done very quickly, before we're 10 minutes in, so they got this part right.

The interrogation of Mr White begins, with M, Bond, Mitchell and another agent who we're not introduced to here as well.  Mr White seems exceedingly casual here, talking to Bond and M, and this should be a warning sign, but somehow nobody gets on alert, not even us in the audience.  The line about having people everywhere isn't even that noticeable in terms of how the sequence is shot, and this is one of the main problems with this sequence.  Nothing the director or his DP (Director of Photography) do indicate that there is anything special about what Mr White is saying, there is no tension being built up, which is kinda needed here.  I know they're trying to go for as much shock value as possible with the 'big reveal', but shocks like that, need a little leading into, so that you don't completely shock your audience out of the film.

Mr White looks up at somebody off camera and says "Am I right?", and Mitchell suddenly pulls out his gun and shoots the agent that we hadn't been introduced to at point blank range.  This is the old Star Trek; The Original Series "Red Shirt" gag.  You can guarantee that anybody in a scene we haven't been introduced to, and in Star Trek that usually meant the red shirt security guys, are going to be killed, and this had been pretty much signposted from the moment everybody got together.  Only one person there we didn't know, and they were going to be killed.  No lines of dialogue, means no life at the end of the scene.  It's an old old gag, and to be honest, one that shouldn't be used, it is somewhat obvious when it happens.

A fight breaks out, M narrowly avoids getting killed, and Mr White gets shot in the confusion with M making her escape.  I have to be honest here, and say it has taken me several viewings of that sequence of shots to realise what is going on.  The way that sequence is edited, there aren't many shots that last more than 1 second.  In essence, camera positions are changing all the time, and the flurry of cuts from one shot to the next renders most of that initial fight, unwatchable.  Your brain does not have time to process what you're seeing before moving on to the next shot, so you're left with a flurry of images that make little sense visually.

One shot that I do like in the sequence though, is the one that shows M running up the steps.  It's a handheld shot and gives the shot a nice documentary feel, as though the cameraman was just happening upon it, rather than everything set up ready to capture it.

There then follows about a 5 minute chase sequence, which starts under Siena in the tunnels, goes through part of the city at ground level, then goes onto the rooftops, and finally seems to end up at this bell tower, which includes a weird moment of an Italian woman dropping a box of fruit or veg, I'm not sure which, and going "Oh mama mia...".  Honestly that moment, wouldn't have looked out of place in Moonraker, but it sure didn't do anything here, except just look weird.

Bond thinks he has Mitchell cornered, but Mitchell surprises Bond and another fight ensues, one which, whilst some edits are as quick as before, most of the shots at least about 3 seconds and it makes the sequence much more watchable.  The sequence ends with Bond shooting and we assume he's shot Mitchell, but we don't actually see that he's shot Mitchell, nor do we see Mitchell die, which feels like a mistake somehow.  

We cut to London, and another pretentious location title card, and it's raining.  Oh my goodness, all the old stereotypes are coming out here.

Bond arrives at Mitchell's apartment, and we get what I can only describe as an odd scene here involving M and Bond.  Bond is looking cool as usual, but M is almost frantic, beside herself with worry.  What happened to the "evil queen of numbers" that we were first introduced to in Goldeneye?  Where's the stoicalness that we have seen so many times throughout the film series?  This is not the M we've come to know since Goldeneye.  I can't blame Dame Judi Dench for this, this comes down to the writers and director.  I get that they want to make the Bond/M relationship a subplot here, but to be honest, there have been better films that have used this subplot, even during the Judi Dench era.

M gets a call, and we suddenly cut back to M and Bond back at MI6, a very different looking MI6 to what we saw in the previous film, 2006's Casino Royale, and yet this is supposed to have happened in relatively quick time frame, about a day or so???  Mistakes like that are really avoidable, and you shouldn't make those kind of mistakes ever.

Anyway, we get a brief bit of exposition here, which links us, rather obtusely, to the next sequence.  Also, we have a touchscreen tabletop, which just seems a little over the top technologically for 2008, or should that be 2006, after all it is a direct follow on to Casino Royale.  Heck, in 2006, we didn't even have iPod touches yet.  The iPad didn't come out until 2010.  Heck, whilst the idea about tabletop touchscreen technology has been around for a long time, the actual technology still isn't that good yet.

We then go to Port Au Prince in Haiti, with another pretentious location title card, which looks like it came from an old spaghetti western.  I do wonder if there was some kind of game going on between the director and the editor to see how many different fonts they could include in the movie.

Bond arrives at a building, where he is supposed to interrogate a suspect, but he ends up killing him.  But honestly, what is this sequence here for?  It feels like an action sequence designed to fill a plot hole, the point being to introduce us, eventually to Camille.  It was like they thought, how do we get from London to our Bond girl, and they wrote this gratuitous fight scene in.

Anyway, Camille picks up Bond, not really knowing who he is.  And the car she is driving is followed by someone on a motorbike, but Camille manages to give him the slip.  But it turns out the guy who Bond killed back in his flat, was meant to kill Camille.  Camille ejects him from the car at gunpoint, and the guy on the motorcycle catches up, but Bond takes him out and steals the motorcycle to follow Camille.

Camille is tracked to some warehouse on the docks, and this serves as an introduction to this film's villains.  First, henchman Elvis, performed by Anatole Taubman, and our main villain, Dominic Greene, played by Mathieu Amalric.  The villains here are not that good, and really don't make much of an impression.  I'll talk more about the villains later on.  But the sequence where Camille confronts Dominic Greene just feels a little gratuitous as well.  There are better ways to introduce us to the villains.  There's one more villain that we're introduced to here as well.  General Medrano, played here by Joaquin Cosio

Bond has a short conversation with a gate guard, which serves no purpose at all, other than to show the card which has the name R Sterling on it.  R Sterling being a reference to Bond's cover name in The Spy Who Loved Me, Robert Sterling.  It's a nice touch, but it does nothing storywise.  Just gives Daniel Craig a small acting moment, along with the guys playing the gate guard and Elvis.

Camille is introduced to General Medrano here, and this is a big mistake in the film, as at this point, we have no idea what connects these two people, and it turns out there's some rather interesting history there, which we don't get until much later.  I know that nobody like exposition scenes and they try to use short quick ones throughout the film, rather than one long exposition scene, but the moment where Camille meets General Medrano would have had more impact in story terms, if their history had been explained before the meeting, and as such, the meeting happens too early.

There's a little side storyline here about Medrano taking over the Bolivian government.  It would have played better if there had actually been anything about it later in the film, but it never comes up again, so why mention it?  It just goes to show how terrible the writing was on this movie.

Anyway, Camille goes with the General, and Bond rescues her by boat.  Why he decides to do this I don't know, it doesn't really make a lot of sense, I think they just wanted to get a boat chase in here, but it just doesn't compare to the one that was done in Live And Let Die.  Stuff happens, and Bond basically wins out.  At least the editing here isn't a problem.

Bond steals a jeep, and calls the office.  M's office has a wall that becomes a massive display screen.

What the...???!!!???

Ye gods, the production design in this film feels more over the top than one of Ken Adam's.  Ken was known for extravagant sets, but this feels more Star Trek than James Bond.

M and Tanner have a conversation with Bond, and connect with Gregory Beam, the head of the CIA's Latin America section, played here played David Harbour, and we're re-introduced to Felix Leiter, played again by Jeffrey Wright.  Felix is a well-loved character in the Bond universe, but I've never taken to Jeffrey Wright's performance.  I wasn't keen on it in Casino Royale 2006, and I'm less keen on it here.  He does have one moment when it harkens back to the old-style Felix/Bond relationship, but the whole thing feels out of place generally.  It was as if they had hired him for two films, and were struggling to fit him in.

Gregory Beam here feels like he should be a hero, but he comes across more like a bad villain.  That is to say someone who just isn't that bad, but isn't that good either.  That kind of sums up both the character and the performance.  Not that bad, but not that good either.  He's got nothing about him that makes me root for him.  He's just bland, and you can tell he's not a good guy, but he's just not much of a bad guy either.  A slightly dirty shade of grey.

Don't get me wrong, it's fine to have some more morally ambiguous characters in the Bond world, but they really need to be done better than Gregory Beam.  Beam and Leiter meet up with Greene on a private jet, and conversation happens, which mostly leaves me cold, cos I have no real interest in seeing this, as it actually has very little relevance.  It's basically meant to give us a sense of the plot moving forward, the bad guy's plan in motion, but really, in this film, I couldn't care about it.  The real plot is Bond taking on Quantum, and what Greene is doing just doesn't really play into that at all.

There is one sequence, at the opera in Bregenz, Austria, with another totally pretentious location title card, in yet another different font, that actually does play into the main plot, where members of Quantum including Greene and Mr White are in conversation over earpieces and Bond manages to infiltrate that 'meeting' and causes quite a panic.  However also in this sequence, there is a shot of Elvis looking at what I can only guess is another henchman and smiling at him.  The other guy seems completely unamused.  Why is that even there?  Does it add anything to the story?  No.  It serves no purpose.  That moment should have been cut.

And yes, I know this is already the shortest film in the series, but any moment in a film that serves no discernible purpose must be cut.

Anyway, back to the plot.  Bond manages to get ahold of a special earpiece that Greene and his cohorts are communicating on, and forces them to tip their hand, meaning that he can get photographs of most of them, but not Mr White, who is also there at the opera, and takes his earpiece out rather than leaving.  The rest decide they've been compromised and leave.  Bond encounters them and gets into a fight with the bodyguard of one of the cohorts, called Guy Haines, who happens to be a special adviser to the Prime Minister.  The fight ends with Bond knocking him off a building, in a moment straight out of The Spy Who Loved Me.  However, instead of landing on the ground, he lands on Dominic Greene's car, and a henchman gets out and shoots the bodyguard dead.  Huh?  Killing the bodyguard of one of your own members?  That doesn't make sense.

One point I must make here, is that it is in this opera sequence that the name Quantum is first used, however, I don't think it's done that well.  Not badly, just not that well.  It feels a little bit random, and I'm just not sure how it could have been done better but then again, a lot of this film feels this way.  It could have been done a lot better.  Not entirely sure how, whether the blame lies more with the writers or the director, but suffice to say, the writing isn't strong and the direction doesn't feel like it has any... direction... to it.

Another point that I'm going to make here, is that after this point in the film, it is believed that Bond killed Guy Haines' bodyguard, even though that's not what happened.  And yet we have nothing to show why that is believed to be the case.  This film is so short, and it is missing so many important little things, and yet we have other moments that really do not belong there.

Anyway, Bond makes contact with London, and is told to come in for a debrief as the bodyguard that Bond fought is a member of Special Branch, but Bond refuses.  M puts a stop upon all of Bond's cards, and restrictions on his movements.  Bond tries to follow Quantum to Bolivia, but can't due to the stop put on Bond's cards.

We don't see how he does it, but the next cut we see is Bond travelling on a boat in Talamone, Italy.  How did Bond get there?  It's a short film, so a couple of minutes of montage to get us to this location would be good.  Also, yet another pretentious location title card.

It's no secret that the production of Quantum Of Solace was messy with the writer's strike, and filming and editing were condensed into less than a year.  Filming was done from 2nd January 2008 until 21st June, and the film was released on 31st October, with the London premiere 2 days before.  This feels like a rushed job, that they didn't give this the thought it required, never mind the care and attention.  Filming on any movie usually takes about 3-4 months, sometimes a little bit longer, and some big productions these days usually schedule re-shoots for a 2 to 4 week period halfway during editing to tidy up parts where editing is throwing up issues with the original shoots.  Here, they just didn't have the time to do re-shoots and tidy up bits, and they tried to fix what they could in the editing, but mostly it made it worse.

Anyway, it's here in Talamone that we are re-introduced to our second returning character from Casino Royale 2006.  Mathis, played once again by Giancarlo Giannini.  Mathis was cleared of being a double agent at some point between when we last saw him in Casino Royale, and when we see him here, in a villa that has been bought for him by MI6 as compensation, even though the whole timespan can not have been any more than a few weeks at most.  Continuity seems to have been a real problem with this film, I just don't get how they think this is believable.

Mathis agrees to help Bond get to Bolivia, and we get a scene on the plane over where Bond is drinking and Mathis joins him, and we get a 'boohoo, the woman I loved is dead' scene, which doesn't fit everything else that Bond has been saying and doing.  His approach so far has been very cold and almost clinical about shutting that episode out of his life.  Suddenly we have this???  It makes no sense.

Bond and Mathis arrive in La Paz, Bolivia, via another pretentious location title card, and it is here we are introduced to Agent Fields, who is an MI6 operative based out of the British Consulate in Bolivia.  She is played by Gemma Arterton, and she doesn't have a lot of presence really in the film, and I'm sorry to say, she feels like somewhat of a wasted character.  Gemma Arterton is a great actress, and she deserved far better than this.  I hope she gets another appearance in a Bond film, as she deserves to have a much better role than this.

One thing that jumps out at me on reviewing this is that Agent Fields seems to be dressed in nothing other than a beige trench coat and brown knee length boots.  Surely that's not all she's wearing?  But there is no other visible clothing on her.  Maybe a hint of a dress or some trousers, wouldn't have gone amiss, but the way she appears here is very suggestive, of many other things...

Fields tries to get Bond to turn around and head back to London, but Bond manages to seduce her and persuades her to work with him.  This part of the film really feels weak here, like they wanted a scene of Bond making love to a woman, but just couldn't fit it in well, and it does feel somewhat shoehorned in here.  It's a weak sequence.

We then come to the next big bug bear sequence in this film, which is the Greene Planet party.  This whole sequence is a big problem in this film.  Plot wise, it seems to have little relevance to anything else, and I truly wonder why it is here.  We have a shot of someone who could have been President Barack Obama's father, or older brother here, and a moment where Bond asks Fields what her real name is and she says "Fields.  Just Fields."  The moment should be a set up for a pay-off later where we learn her real name.  But it never comes.  And we never get the expected immortal line about Strawberry Fields Forever.  Yes, Strawberry Fields, that is her name.  Whilst I don't mind them not doing the obvious jokes sometimes, the idea here is actually kinda lame.  Set up a gag, and never pay off, it never feels good.

Then we immediately cut to Greene making a speech, and we start with a wide shot of the building, followed by a shot of the balcony where Dominic Greene is giving his speech from.  We get shots of Bond, Fields and Mathis watching on, and then we get a weird edit, to shots of people who I guess are really extras in the film, with Greene saying "I hope that tonight, you make the decision to be part of that."

I know other reviewers, like Calvin Dyson, are completely confused by why the director and editor chooses to show these people.  I've thought long and hard about this, and the best answer I can some up with, is that these people are prospective Quantum recruits, or maybe are part of Quantum, and that's why we focus on them, but if that's the case, the idea flops very hard, because we never see these people again.  Another setup without a payoff.

Also the way Felix Leiter is shoehorned in here is just horrible.  He has two moments in this sequence, one where we see Bond walking and we suddenly cut to a shot of Felix sat down as though he's watching Bond.  It really feels jarring to see that shot in there.  Then there's a second moment as Bond is leaving with Camille and that's a little less jarring but still very bad.

And then we have the infamous Fields tripping Elvis moment, and the reveal that he's wearing a wig. Just appalling really.  It's Fields last moment of action in the film, and it flops even worse than  anything else so far.  All in all, that whole sequence was a mess, and nothing even close to acceptable cinema, never mind good cinema.

And as if to top all that badness off, we get a moment with Bond being followed by Bolivian Police, and the reveal that Mathis is in the boot of the vehicle that Bond is driving.  The moment where Mathis dies in Bond's arms is meant to be poignant, and emotional, but like so much else in this film, it flops just horribly.  Even the short moment of action where Mathis is shot by the policeman, is poor, and just feels horribly random.

We're only just over an hour into the film, and it's already felt like 2 hours, it needs to be put out of its misery.

Bond and Camille rent a plane, and Bond is expecting to be sold out by the guy who they rented the plane off, yet he does nothing to prevent that?  Can we get some decent scriptwriters, please?

There's a nice moment where Bond references to Camille about why he's after Greene, and when he says that he tried to kill a woman, but it's not what you think, Camille asks "Your mother?" and Bond says with a smile, "She likes to think so."  I think that's a genuinely funny moment referencing M as being like a mother figure, and actually plays into how Bond in the books always looked at the M in the books, who was male, as a father figure.  I think it's a genuinely Fleming-esque moment, that is unfortunately overrun by so much that just doesn't hold a candle to it.

We then get a really well shot and well edited aerial dogfight sequence, which has some genuine tension and excitement about it.  It's probably the best sequence in the whole film, but most of the audience has been lost by this point.  But unfortunately, the sequence is kinda ruined by what follows which is Bond and Camille sharing a single parachute, leaping out of the plane, and landing in a sinkhole, and oh my goodness, the effects shots here are appalling.  It takes me out of the film instantly again, after having been pulled back in with the dogfight.  Come on guys, you can do better than this.

There is another pointless sequence here with M meeting the Foreign Secretary, which flops so hard.  This is no offence to Judi Dench or Tim Piggott Smith who are great actors, but this scene doesn't need to be here.  We don't need to see this.  It has no relevance to the plot, and is just painful to watch.  It shouldn't have even been written, never mind filmed or put in the final cut.

We get an interesting scene where Bond and Camille talk and there's a lot of exposition done here, and it's kinda nice, and we get what Greene is really up to, but again, too little, too late.  There's some scenes which just reinforce what we've just discovered, and again, it just feels like it's over the top.

We then get a scene where M is in Bolivia in the hotel where Bond has been staying, and Bond arrives, to discover her, and also to discover that Fields is dead, covered in oil.  Once again, the editing here is uber-pretentious, and at this point the whole M/Bond subplot just flops really badly.  By this point, I have lost interest in what's going on.  Even from a review standpoint.

Bond is suspended, and leaves with some agents, but fights his way out in an elevator, and then confronts M.  Suddenly, she changes her mind.  Why?  How?  Bad writing again.  The writing in this film is so bad, that it makes Thunderball look like a Shakespeare masterpiece.  I'll talk more about Thunderball in a later post, but suffice to say, Ian Fleming at his worst, was way better than this piece of garbage.

We get another Beam and Leiter moment, when Bond phones them.  And we get one final bit of exposition, and another piece of gratuitous action when Bond and Leiter meet up in a bar.  What they say here is relevant to the plot, but doesn't matter overall, because the whole plot is worthless by this point.  What plot there is, is just a means to get from one action sequence to another.  In a way, it's a bit like my number 24 entry on this list, the 1967 version of Casino Royale, the plot is a thread, and a bot threadbare in places, that is trying to hold together all these action sequences, and not doing a good job of it.

So anyway, we get to the hotel in the desert, and this is meant to be the big finale.  The final reel of the film.  It's a boring start as we see Medrano and the Police Chief talking, and we get a moment where Bond is talking to Camille about how this kill is personal and how she should rely on her training.  It's like good grief, can you make this any more boring than you already have?

Greene meets up with the Police Chief and Medrano, and stuff happens that I really couldn't care about by this point.  We're just waiting for the final battle to begin, but we don't see Bond really for a good couple of minutes, however we do get shots of Camille.  Then suddenly Bond appears, and it all kicks off, and within 30 seconds, the hotel starts blowing up.  I kid you not.  Less than 30 seconds after Bond appears, we get the first explosion and the hotel starts destroying itself.  Please, this is just so bad.

It is interesting that we have Bond fighting Greene and Camille fighting Medrano at the same time, the two sequences inter-cutting like this are interesting, but it just doesn't work as well as it should.  Bond lets Greene go, to rescue Camille, which he achieves, just barely, and Bond goes after Greene.  We never see Bond catch up with Greene, we just cut to Bond driving a car, and throwing Greene on the ground from out of the boot.  And then Bond, just leaves him in the middle of the desert with a can of motor oil.  Huh?  This is the second film in a row where Bond has not killed his main antagonist directly, and it feels weak here, like so much else in this film.

Bond says goodbye to Camille and we get a kiss but no sex.  That just feels weird.

We then cut to Kazan in Russia, once again via a pretentious location title card, and no two have used the same font in this film.

Bond is waiting for someone in an apartment, and we see two people come home, one of them being Vesper's former boyfriend, Yusef.  We then get a weird sequence of Bond confronting Yusef, and advising his current girlfriend to contact her superiors, they have a leak in their seals.  And she just leaves.  M is outside as well, why?  It makes no sense.

The one thing I do like is as Bond walks away, he drops Vesper's necklace in the snow, and we get a nice gentle piano piece as the film fades to black, which is really lovely.  It is then spoiled by a bad, out of place, gun barrel sequence.  The gun barrel has no interesting design or texture to it, Bond walks in far too fast really, and the gun barrel then becomes the title of the film.

THE VILLAINS

Dominic Greene really is our main villain here and he is like so much else in this film, instantly forgettable.  No disrespect to the actor, but he is given nothing to work with really.  His motley true of henchmen have nothing memorable about them at all, especially Elvis who really never acts like a henchman, he's seen a lot, but only once do I see him holding a gun and he doesn't shoot it.  Please, this is horrible characterisation.

Medrano is a stereotypical South American dictator-wannabe type, he just doesn't have much about him, and the Police Chief is similarly stereotypical here.  There's nothing about either of them that makes me interested in them as characters.

Mr White is possibly the best of the bunch, but even here, he feels like somewhat of a let down, he only really appears at the start of the film, and at the opera, we never see him again after that, until apparently the upcoming Spectre film.

THE ALLIES

I have to talk about M here as she is used far too much.  We have scenes that she should not be in, yet she is.  We have a scene between her and the Foreign Minister, that shouldn't be in the movie at all, and we have as character who is nothing like how she was originally written in Goldeneye, and all the films since until this one.  I can't blame this on Judi Dench,as she gives a wonderful performance here, but she is undone by the writing.

We have someone who is a forensics tech, but he comes across as almost Q-lite, as though they were testing him out to become Q in the next film.  He didn't make it, but it was kinda interesting to see this.

Bill Tanner reappears in this film, played this time by Rory Kinnear.  He's a great actor, and plays the character well, but isn't a patch on Michael Kitchen from Goldeneye, and The World Is Not Enough.

Jeffrey Wright makes his second appearance in a row as Felix Leiter here, and for me, flops badly.  He wasn't great in Casino Royale, but is actually worse here.  His version of Felix now gets put into the same category as Jaws and Jack Wade.  Better in their first appearance than in their second.

STUNTS AND ACTION SEQUENCES

Only 3 action sequences here really feel like they work, and they are the car chase in the pre-title sequence, Bond chasing Mitchell through Siena, and the aerial dogfight, the rest just don't really sell themselves that well, and the big finale where within 30 seconds of Bond firing his first shot the hotel starts blowing up just feels lazy.

THE BOND GIRLS/WOMEN

Camille is as close as we come to a traditional Bond girl, and is a pretty good character, but I'm left feeling that she really wasn't totally complete as a character here.   I can't explain it, but there feels like there was something missing.

Agent Fields is this film's equivalent of Paula from Thunderball, she exists only to die really, and her death doesn't even move the plot along.  Gemma Arterton does a good job with what she has, but she doesn't really have much.

OTHER NOTES

I've already written a lot about the writing and the editing and the location title cards, but let me bring all that together here.  Every location title card is done in a different font, for what reason really?  It adds nothing to the film, and really feels out of place in a Bond film.  The editing for most of this film is really bad.  Even the good sequences in the film, are sometimes undermined by editing that leaves you with no clue about what you've just scene.  In the initial fight with Mitchell in the safe house, there's a whole sequence of about a dozen or more shots and none of them are more than 24 frames, or 1 second.  Too much cutting between cameras, not enough focus on the action itself.

The best example I can point to of fast cutting in a fight is the fight between Grant & Bond in From Russia With Love.  The camera may only change position there every 3 to 5 seconds, but it's a perfect edit, allowing the pace of the fight to dictate the cuts, rather than cutting to make it seem pacy.

There are far too many moments in this film that should never have been included.  And there were scenes missing that really should have been written and shot but obviously weren't.    The writing on all this was bad, and the editing just emphasised all the problems.  You can't edit your way out of bad writing.  This film should have been postponed, re-shoots ordered, and a whole new re-edit done, but they were trying to turn this round fast and it fails, it flops so hard as to show up everything bad about it.

I mentioned it earlier, but the production design in this movie was bad.  Peter Lamont retired after Casino Royale, but the new look MI6 was something right out of Star Trek, not James Bond, and how could it look this different in mere days?  The film was set right after Casino Royale, and there wouldn't be the time to change the look so drastically.

OVERALL

There are too few good moments in this film, and far too much that flops and usually flops hard.  There isn't even any mediocre stuff in between, it either flops or it's good.  But overall, the whole film flops, hard.  Not quite as hard as Moonraker did, nor the 1967 version of Casino Royale, and I placed that lower than this because that flopped from a higher point to a lower one, but it still flops hard.  If I never watch this film again, it will be too soon.

Next time on this list, number 22, and a film that was another poor attempt at capitalising on a movie trend.